Monday, December 19, 2011

Living In the Moment

It is 5 AM and I have been awake since 3.  Partially due to increasing nausea and my new obsession with this pregnancy, and partially due to excitement as I consider the future.  I have so much to look forward to!

  • Starting a master's degree program (if I get accepted)

  • Receiving my Zumba instructor certification

  • Mothering my 2 (maybe 3!) beautiful children

  • Loving on my incredibly sexy husband


As I look at my growing belly (that isn't actually growing, it has just remained pregnant-like since my last miscarriage and when I gained that 20 lbs from birth control), I think of my two healthy children sleeping upstairs.  The trials, the successes, the sadness, the joy, it's all part of this parenting ride.  While there are moments when I want to pull my hair out, I am learning that many of these come from my own insecurities and fears.  The more I discover about myself--my strengths and weaknesses--the more content I feel when it comes to the many roles I play.

I still have much to improve on but I feel excited as I consider the many possibilities that positive change brings.

And so I am happy to announce that I am heeding all your advice and thinking of this pregnancy as a day by day experience.  I will probably have many pokes and probes in the future, all of which determining how the pregnancy is continuing, and I am realizing there is no need in worrying over every little thing.  That's my doctor's job.  Instead, I will be joyful for the experience I have gained and intent on putting it to good use, whatever the outcome.

10 comments:

  1. That is awesome you are getting certified in Zumba - I love Zumba, and I bet you'll be a great teacher. Are you going to teach when you get it?
    Excited for you that all is going well!

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  2. I hope so! I don't know how long it will take for me to feel comfortable doing this, but I am planning on eventually teaching.

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  3. Love your attitude. Because it sounds like you're doing all you can do. Thinking happy thoughts for you, too!

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  4. So happy to see that you've found a place of peace and joy. Taking it one day at a time is sometimes all we can do. My thoughts are with you. And fingers crossed too.

    Enjoy your holidays my friend. XO

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  5. Yay for savoring each day. I'm working on that, too. But it sounds like you are figuring it out better than I. Old habits (e.g., worry) die hard!

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  6. I am so happy that you are positive and happy today!!!

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  7. I'm so happy for you, Amber. Just so, so very happy.

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  8. So many good things to focus on!

    Sending you wishes for a wonderful holiday season! (Day by day can work wonders, right?)

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  9. One moment at a time, right? That's all we got. Sending continual positive thoughts your way my friend.

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  10. [...] I had another miscarriage.  Three weeks later, I found myself pregnant again.  I discovered a new perspective with this pregnancy and left my worries about miscarriage [...]

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