After a considerably hard weekend, I decided to take two days off from work. Sickness and pain were my nemeses and I had only one remedy: sleep. I also made some dietary changes and limited my food to saltines and soup with the occasional sandwich. For whatever reason, these switches have positively impacted my after miscarriage stuff. While I am still feeling slightly ill, the back pain is almost gone and my mind is just about free of fog.
It's strange, really, to have these excessive emotional highs and lows--to go from hating life to feeling excited for tomorrow. Hell, I'll take the positives, they keep me going and my world incredibly interesting. Eh, I guess I can handle the lows if they make life exciting and this couldn't be possible if there isn't one (or two, or 10) sh***y day a week. I know because my Guide to Life says so.
(What is my Guide to Life? Well let me tell you. Nah, I'll just redirect you.) (This book is on a pedestal in my household and we read from it religiously. RELIGIOUSLY I say. It's my replacement bible.)
(Speaking of the bible, Emily comes home singing new Christian songs that she has learned in preschool about once a week. My favorite is God Is Great. She sings this every meal time while Ben and I sit and laugh. It's just so darn cute! Also, she doesn't like it if I try to change the lyrics to "Emily is great!" or something similar. I guess she thinks I'm being cynical. Where would she get that idea?)
If my life were a musical, I would be singing "The Hills Are Alive" or "Defying Gravity." If only I could attach wires from my brain to the TV so my amazing thoughts could be transmitted to the BIG SCREEN. Picture this: Me, in a beautiful dress, singing and dancing my way through life. It would be priceless. And entertaining. Mostly entertaining.
(Have I mentioned that Emily dances like a Hip Hop star? I guess my regular Zumba work-outs HAVE taught her something. Like how to shake her hips and booty. I feel slightly guilty in encouraging her but, frankly, it's hilarious to see my 3-year-old shaking her thing better than most pop stars do.)
I return to work today and I feel like doing some jumping jacks--I am THAT excited.
Is this what feeling free--from anger--is like? If so, I really like it.
1 hour ago