3 hours ago
Monday, November 1, 2010
This day is an important day. Not just because it is your birthday, but because it marks one year from when our family went from three to four. From one girl, to one girl and one boy.
You have rocked my world from the beginning; making your grand entrance on your time not my time. Since you arrived, I cannot imagine our family without you.
I was afraid, at first, of having a little boy. I felt comfortable with Emily and was unsure of how to respond to a male. That is, until you were born. From those first few moments, I felt a special bond forge between us. I held you constantly, not willing to let the nurses take you to the nursery; I felt much better with you nestled close to my body. This didn't change when we brought you home.
The calming spirit that you emit helped ease the transition from one to two. Your sister, fascinated by your presence at first, now likes you much more than me. She prefers you awake and near her at all times. I do too.
Since your birth, you have preferred my arms over the floor, crib, or anything. I was and am okay with that. At one time I would have been frustrated by this constant neediness, but I realize its importance now: I have made it through some difficult times because of your innocent dependence on me.
Today you turned one. Over the past month, I have felt you pushing me away more and more. Not because you don't love me (admit it, I'm your favorite), but because you are gaining independence. I am okay with this as well.
But, remember, you are my baby. You look like a baby, not nearly old enough to be one. I am grateful that you haven't discovered walking yet, though I'm sure that will come soon. I am also grateful that you'll snuggle with me while you drink your bottle and while I read you and your sister stories. I treasure these moments. The few times when it is just you and me.
I look forward to this next year as your gain more mobility, knowledge, and language. I am curious to see your social development as you already seem so aware of what goes on with other people. Especially your sister.
I love you my sweet, little boy.