but, I'm not perfect.
What?!!?! You Don't Have Cable? I Wish I Were As Strong As You!
We may not have cable, but we have an on-line Netflix account that we log into daily (thanks, Mom!). (Oh Netflix, how I love thee!) If I wanted to, I could watch a full season's episodes of certain television shows. I prefer to watch movies. As for the Queen, when I am fixing dinner or trying to clean, she watches Blue's Clues or the Jimmies. Hey, I need her to stay out of things as much as the next Mom.
In that post, I didn't mention another reason for not having cable: I was afraid of the temptation. I already spend inordinate amounts ignoring my children by blogging that I don't need another media outlet to distract me. When thinking about getting cable all I envisioned myself in front of the television telling the Queen to stop playing so I could hear the TV. I am already too absorbed in my own thoughts that I didn't need something to make me more mentally absent.
All You Need is Balance!
As Kristen mentioned, one of my favorite words is balance. At least it used to be. I am still trying to achieve balance in my life, but I am learning to let some things slide.
I used to dream of being the perfect mom, wife, and woman every night. A mom whose attention is more focused on her children and not the internet. A wife who doesn't get angry or become resentful with her husband over silly things. A woman who doesn't excuse away her profession because of shame.
I am beginning to accept that perfection is not expected of me. I will constantly be searching for balance. I am just not as stuck on it as I used to be.
I Am Feeling Pretty Lazy These Days
I once wrote about waking up at 5 am to work out. Oh the responses I got! Well, that regime lasted a total of 3 weeks. I realized that when I began to dread the morning something needed to change. I am still working on that change.
I used to love the mornings. I would rather wake up early than stay up late to finish an assignment. I loved to watch the sun rise. After I had children my schedule became whacked. Right now, Manly enjoys staying awake until 1 or 2 AM. Rather than resent his night time preference, I make a party out of it! This only makes mornings that much harder.
Comments, Comments, Comments!!
Your thoughts on comments really made me think. Thank you for expressing your opinions and validating my own need for comments. Want to know a secret? I'm kind of afraid of comments. What if you tell me I'm wrong? Point out my grammatical errors? Or, worse, express amazement at something I'm doing?
These fears are best faced head on. I guess blogging is a form of bravery, huh?
I think that is enough for today. When I feel that you are once again putting me on some pedestal, I will add to this list. Hey, I may even have something substantial for you tomorrow!
3 hours ago