Showing posts with label Parents Supporting Parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parents Supporting Parents. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Chores = A Clean House (Ha Ha HA)

Yesterday was a disaster. I am pretty sure that my house mirrors what is going on inside me because the messes made--before 8 am--pretty much looked like how I feel (which is to say, my emotions were a wreck).  While there are some things I cannot control, like the messiness of my house in a given minute--at least until the kids are in bed--I can get the kiddos involved with certain tasks.  So, here are the top 5 chores I allow I encourage them to help me with and how I make it easier on all of us (i.e. me).

1. Picking up their toys.  While this might seem easy, it is actually tricky.  This is one area my degree proves useful, child development research agrees that kids cannot process "cleaning their toys," they need specific direction.  Rather than saying, "pick up your toys!" I ask them to find their blocks, cars, or doll parts and put them in the appropriate bins (e.g. the one catch-all bin because I am not that organized).  To make things even more fun, we play educational games.  For example, I ask Emily to find the red block, and Andrew to pick up his green car.  Or we'll count how many toys we can fit in our hands.  Pretty soon, we have picked up all the toys and are laughing because I've made it fun (well...I might be crying but one can easily hide tears with a chuckle) (kidding).

2. Dishes.  Since I seem to be washing dishes every 10 minutes (it's my form of release), I have learned to involve the kiddos in this task in a painless manner by letting them play with bubbles.  Occasionally I might let them load the dishes, but as this generally turns into a fiasco as they alternate between throwing cups, silverware, and plates all over the floor and placing them haphazardly in the dishwasher, I avoid this.  Remember, I said painless.

3. Taking out the trash.  The kids love to put stuff in the trash can.  Emily is generally allowed to do this, but Andrew enjoys taking things out more than putting them in, so he is banned from that task.  However, something we can all agree on, is fresh air.  Our trash day happens to be Wednesday and on that day--if I am prepared and actually remember it is trash day--finds us outside, dragging the trash cans to the curb.  The kids like "pushing" the trash cans and I am just happy I remembered this particular chore before the sound of the garbage truck interrupted my reverie (read: morning coffee/cocoa) and made me run outside in a chaotic fashion wearing any form of clothes (usually on backwards and/or inside out).

4. Folding their laundry.  Okay, let's be real, folding laundry with toddlers is a very messy business.  This is why I have a system of making it less hectic.  I give them a small pile of clothes to fold and put away.  They feel "big" and I am okay with them wrecking the pile over and over again.  Whatever kids, it's a small pile and you are in charge of it (until I finally get my hands on it after bedtime and actually put it away).

5. Wiping up spills. Andrew is very adept at dumping his bowls of cereal and cups of juice (even if it has a lid) all over the table and floor.  Emily is not an innocent party in this, she finds it incredibly interesting to pour out her drinks into other objects and re-pour it into her cup.  As each of these activities--Andrew's and Emily's--lead to some big messes, the kids know to get a rag and clean up their spills.  However, I think knowing this might be an incentive to make the messes; but, whatever, they are learning something.  I think.

Have anything to add to the list?  And you are welcome to steal my ideas, in exchange for free baby-sitting.

MakingtheMomentsCount.com



Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Saying Sorry

It was one of those moments.

Me: Ems, here are two vitamins.  Please give Andrew one.

Emily: Ok.  (Walks over to her brother.) Here you go, Andrew.

Five minutes later.

Andrew: Misse! [Mine] (Pointing at the vitamin Emily is eating.)

Me: Ben, did you see Emily give Andrew a vitamin?

Ben: No. I think she's eating his right now.

Ben:  Emily, come here. Did you eat Andrew's vitamin?

Emily: No.

Ben: Please don't lie, did you eat it?  We saw you put it in your mouth.

Emily: No! (Begins crying.  Runs to me for comfort.  I try to send her back to her dad.)

Ben: Oh no.  (Picks up a gummy vitamin from off the coffee table.)  She did give him one.

Our eyes meet.  We have falsely accused our sweet, little girl and not believed her when she told the truth.

Ben: Oh sweetie, come here.  I am so very sorry.

After several minutes of cuddling her, she pulls away.

Emily: It's okay daddy.

We, as parents, are fallible.  It's a hard lesson for Ben, me, and our kids to learn.  However, we have learned to say sorry.  Thankfully.

 



Tuesday, September 6, 2011

How Many Objects Can Fit Into a Bowl?

In a toilet bowl, that is.  Let's examine the evidence.

The Scientist



The Witness



The Evidence



The Results: Not enough room, must use the floor.

In Conclusion: Given 10 minutes of "free" time, Andrew will help his mom with her weight loss goals by destroying the bathroom and allowing her to clean it.  And for that, I thank him.



Psssst.....

Supportive Parents thingy is tomorrow*!  This week's topic is: toilets**.  Share something funny, heart-warming, your best toilet training tips, or whatever toilet topic your heart wishes.  (I still haven't come up with a good word for this...whatever this is.)

*Clearly I'm behind.  Excuse my amazing procrastination, and forgetfulness, skills.

**I am in the mood for some humor.  Sometimes parenting is just rough and we need laugh through it.  At least I do.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Getting Older

I don't know when it happened, but sometime between January and now, I stopped feeling afraid.  I'd like to say it was the medicine but I know medicine can only bring you to a place that allows you to address your issues.  And one of my greatest issues came with waking up and embracing each day.

I remember feeling terrified, I mean terrified, of greeting each morning.  I would tremble in bed, gasping, trying to delay the morning.  Trying to ignore my children's cries as they awoke.  Avoiding the clock, the sun, and my husband as I considered what the day might hold.

Older.  Addressing the main issues of anxiety and depression have allowed me to mature with my children.  We understand each other better every day.  They know I love them and I know they will forgive me.

I like the person I am now.  I feel more compassionate, loving, and forgiving.  I let my faults slide rather than dwell on them.

My kids are my world.  I don't want to leave them for work or school because being home fills my cup.  I see their milestones, observe as they interact, and smile as they discover new things.

I also know that I am more than "mom." I am Amber.  Being a mother is wonderful, but being Amber is more fulfilling.

Older.  Aging is hard because as the years pile up, you realize how much you have to learn.  But the wisdom gained from experience is indescribable.  For me, it allows my eyes to open and see the world from a more grounded perspective; free from stifling ideologies and separate from my mental illness.

I like getting older.  Do you?

I realize there is something missing from this space.  An important weekly writing prompt that reminds me of my parenting wins: non-judgmental parenting.  Do you remember this? Starting next week, on Wednesday, I will have a lovely post all about my amazing parenting skills.  Or at least try to pull something out of my, um, head.   I hope you will join me.  To make it easier, I will provide a weekly theme.  Stay tuned for next week's theme that I will announce on Monday.

This post is linked with The Gypsy Mama's Five Minute Friday.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Just Go to Bed!



As a teenager, I told my mom my future kids would go to bed at 7 every night so I could have time for myself and time with my future husband.  She told me, "Don't count on it."

My mother should have known that my stubborn nature--and natural resistance to authority--would dictate that I keep my promise.

Naturally, times change and, with it, bedtime.  A couple days after last year's Fall time change, I realized the necessity of changing my own schedule to match my children's new bedtime and rising time: 6 pm and 6:30 or 7 am respectively.  While it might seem extraordinarily early to put kids down at 6, it meant happier children and I was determined to cut back on fussiness.  (Aren't we all?)

I believe this taught me an important lesson: While routines are excellent sanity savers, I must learn to be flexible.

Recently, Ben's work schedule changed drastically after he quit one of his jobs.  He no longer works nights and weekends and is actually home to help feed, bathe, and put the babes into bed.  With this development, once again I needed to alter our (meaning the kids' and mine) schedule to be more conducive for Ben's new work schedule.  I still haven't figured out a perfect routine but I know that in time we will figure it out.

As positive as this sounds, I will admit my continued love of an early bedtime.  Honestly, by 5 pm I am ready to say "good night" to my beloved children.  My psyche can only handle so much screaming (Emily's new mode of exerting authority).

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Thursday, January 20, 2011

World's Best Teacher

teachers


Ben works as a paraeducator in a first - third grade Autistic classroom.  As much as he loves the job, he finds it difficult to understand the cattiness and gossip mongering that the teachers--all female--participate in.

One conversation he recently overheard had to do with home school.
Teacher one: I can't believe so-and-so decided to homeschool their kids.

Teacher two: I know.  She isn't even educated enough to know how to work with her kids on math and reading.

Teacher three: And her kids will inevitably come back to high school with zero social skills.

Teacher one: Oh my gosh, a roommate of mine in college had a former roommate who knew a girl who was home schooled.  She was so awkward.

Teacher four: Yeah, I knew a girl [who was homeschooled] and she had no idea how to talk to people.

Teacher two: Seriously, parents who think they can home school their kids are ridiculous.  Their kids are going to be way behind the rest of their peers and go to college completely unprepared--if they do go to college.

The conversation just gets worse but I'm going to end there.

I know I probably won't home school my kids.  It's not because I'm afraid they won't be social or will be behind their peers, it's because I can't emotionally handle that plus a husband who is working 70-90 hours per week.

At the same time, if I feel that one or all of my kids would be better suited at home, I would have no problem pulling them out of their classrooms and teaching them.

What I find ironic about this conversation is these same teachers often complain about how annoying parents can be.  These parents want this, these parents want that, and often the parents don't think the teacher is giving their kid enough one-on-one time.  But, when a parent decides that rather than complain about the teachers and the free education their kids receive they will home school them because they think it will be better for their kids, the teachers still find fault.

My husband said it well.  These teachers (not all teachers) feel like home school is their enemy because it means they aren't good enough.  That isn't true.  The truth is, sometimes a parent feels their child needs something more.  Can you really blame a parent when they see their kid struggling and want to give home schooling a try?

There are so many things to write about regarding home-schooling.  So many myths to debunk.  For right now, I want to conclude with this thought: With all the resources available to home schooling parents, do we really their kids will grow up to be unsocial and academically behind adults? I don't know about you, but I'm going to do my best to give these parents all the support they need in making that big decision.