Today I feel frustrated.
There are clothes on the couch,
Dishes in the sink,
Beds to be made,
And laundry that stinks.
Manly has colic.
I really crave sleep.
He's up all night long!
I rock, and I weep.
I just want to shower
and wash away the dried spit-up.
But, here I sit
with crying babies in my lap.
Today I feel sad.
Mr. B is in school
with really tough classes
he works and he works
but the teachers are asses.
He comes home and cleans
After a really long day
He expects nothing from me
And makes sure I'm okay.
I feel upset as I sit and I breastfeed.
It is my responsibility
To keep the house clean,
But I have babies that need me.
Today I feel ready.
The world is my oyster
Rather than cry and pout
I will do what needs done
And stand up and shout!
I can take on life's vicissitudes
With courage and strength
I am a woman (and mother)
Who knows no restraint.
Fear and sadness be gone!
I can make it through
The tough day today
And laugh while I do!
Today I feel glad.
I have two healthy babies
A husband that loves me
A nice, warm, apartment
With clothes and food aplenty.
The little miracles each day
That help me remember
A loving Heavenly Father
Who will always be there.
I have wonderful friends
Both virtual and real.
With pure, perfect, wisdom
They help me to heal.
Life has plenty of rough patches
With heartache and pain.
Yet, we survive them all
Like it ain't no thang.
We have good days, we have bad days.
No matter which one,
We have the choice to be winners
Or the choice to lose and to run.
What will you make of today?
With its ups and downs,
Will you choose to stand up?
Or will you fall down?
Whatever your decision
Just know this one truth
There is always a friend
Who will help you recoup.
How do you feel today?
15 minutes ago
I'm sorry your little man isn't sleeping well. But I know what your going through. Ever since Brodys been out of the hospital we've had very cranky nights!! No fun at all.
ReplyDeleteSigh. Those first few weeks with an infant can be so deflating, so exhilarating, so chaotic - and your poem conveys these soaring rhythms so well. For some reason, the part that spoke to me the most was your description of your husband, coming home to find you after a hard day. "These are the times that try men's souls," indeed. I think that dedication like his means everything at this stage: clinging to each other, taking care of each other as best as you can, until the colic goes and the sleep comes. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteClaira has had an ongoing gas problem the last three days - I am TIRED. She goes long stretches just wanting to be held or else she wails, so everything else just has to wait. I love holding her and easing her pain, but I feel trapped by her sometimes. I have my other two girls and the house to care for. The dinner dishes from last night are still in the sink...I kjow they don't matter in the big scheme of things, but it's hard to remember that when tired and fighting a nasty headache.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, I'm staying positive insomuch as I can. There's lots of things going right too. =)
Thanks for this lovely poem and a reminder of my days in a glider rocker wondering if my son - now 14 - would ever go to sleep. I remember when it got better it was cyclic, I suddenly looked back and knew the previous month was worse than the present month, and it got better from there. Of course, now he's 14. New set of worries, new keening and rocking.
ReplyDeleteThe house can wait, the babies cannot. All you can do is do your best. Enjoy your children--they will young for such a short time.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing we can all do is focus on the positive--things will eventually get done.
That is exactly what motherhood can be like! Sometimes I'm a wonderful mother who is doing a great job and others I'm a failure whose made too many errors to count.
ReplyDeleteI got an e-mail forwarded to me and some of the things in it were:
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I have dirty dishes in the sink. It means have food to eat.
I'm glad I have laundry on the couch, it means we have cloths to wear.
I'm glad when my babies cry because it means that they need me.
I'm glad that I got my power bill because it means that we're warm.
I'm glad that guests left messes all over the house because it means they like me and want to come visit.
I feel you!
I love this.
ReplyDeleteSome days I feel on top of it all. Ready to take on the world. Well, at least ready to answer the demands of my children and of my life, in general. Other days I feel defeated by everything. Around every corner there is another load of laundry, another decision that needs to be made, another child asking for something or whining for something.
I love that your voice shows both sides of this in one poem. Life is fickle. So are we. So are our moods.
Thank you for this.
Thank you for writing.
Every time I come back I feel closer and closer to you. I hear you louder. I continue to understand.