Tuesday, December 1, 2009

My Connection with Adoption

I went home for Christmas during my sophomore year of college. My mother had informed me that my sister was sick. She wouldn't tell me with what, saying my sister reserved that right. Throughout those two weeks, I talked and joked with my sister. She seemed different-- distant and moody. I knew whatever secret she was hiding was consuming her Spirit. 

A week went by. Nothing.

I finally approached my sister. I thought if I asked her directly, in a loving manner, she might be persuaded to confide in me. She didn't.

I stumbled upon the secret myself.

While helping out in my dad's office, something my sister normally did, I came across bookmarked abortion websites.

Why would my sister look at these pages?

Because she is pregnant.

Of course! That would explain her recent sickness.

I confronted my mother with the information. She confirmed my suspicions. I did not talk with my sister about it, because I wanted her to come to me. I wanted her to feel comfortable knowing I would not chastise her.

The months went by. My sister remained silent. Until she was forced to disclose her secret. To the whole family.

I was hurt that she still did not tell me. She relied on my mother to make a blanket statement for everyone.

I asked my mother what she intended to do with the baby. She told me she was thinking about placing the baby for adoption. The father wanted no part, and she could not adequately provide for the child's needs.

I was shocked. Amazed. Touched.

Once she made the decision, she stuck with it. She found a wonderful family through LDS Family Services.

The months went by. Her due date arrived. Since I had recently married and returned to school, I could not be there for the birth or the events thereafter. I do know, from second-hand accounts, it was a beautiful, intense, experience.

We are still in contact with the adopted family. As it was an open adoption, my sister receives pictures and updates about the baby. We have been present for his first and second birthdays. His adopted family loves him in just the way my sister hoped they would.

My sister's sacrifice inspires me. She is my hero.

November was National Adoption Month. Naturally, I am posting this on December first. One day late isn't too bad, right?


  1. Not bad at all. And what a lovely memory to have recorded. I think adoption is one of the most beautiful and selfless things a parent can do for their child.

  2. It sounds like your sister gave a couple the greatest gift she could have - the opportunity to have a family. So maybe you were a day late for National Adoption Month, but you're just in time for the season of giving.

  3. Kristen is so right. You are not late at all. Your sister was so giving. The memories for all of you are wonderful.

  4. I can understand why your sister would be your hero--what a great gift she has given.

    (Another beautifully written post)

  5. Wow, what a story! And what a gift she gave to that lucky family.

  6. What courage. So many couples want babies and cannot conceive. A gift, yes.


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