Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Confession

I am staying with my mother-in-law for the summer while my husband completes an internship. I am so glad that she opened her house to us. At the same time, this has been very difficult. The reason--I have OCD.
People typically associate OCD with repetitive compulsions. I do not have compulsive tendencies, I have obsessive thoughts. These thoughts are focused around cleanliness. In my own house, I have to wash and re-wash the dishes before I feel comfortable eating off of the them. This is even after I have used ultra hot water and a whole container of liquid dish soap. Yes, we do not have a dishwasher.
Here, even though a dishwasher is available, I still rewash the dishes if I don't think they have reached my rinsing standards. I know, it is really ridiculous.
Having these thoughts makes living in another's house almost unbearable-- no matter how grateful I am.
It doesn't help that animals also live in the house. This makes eating basically impossible.
Thankfully, I can keep my thoughts between my husband and me. But, I am sure my mom-in-law has noticed my irritating habit of washing off every dish before I eat. Or the fact that I have trouble eating period.
So, I am very happy to be at the end of our tenure here. I know I will miss the nice big kitchen, and the fact that they have a separate kitchen and living room, but my obsessiveness is getting too interruptive. I need to be able to eat, especially since the alien inside of me demands that I keep feeding him.

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