Thursday, January 15, 2009

Avoiding becoming like Lot's Wife

The story in the bible describes Sodom and Gomorrah as being so wicked that the Lord needed to wipe the sins from off the earth. Lot was warned of the two cities imminent destruction and was unable to produce even 10 righteous people to save the city of its inevitable fate. He and his family, then, escaped before the destruction arrived. However, Lot's wife, after being warned to not look back, looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.
During a devotional (that is given once a week on-campus) Elder Holland gave a talk entitled Remember Lot's Wife. Elder Holland discussed the important consequences of turning to the world and away from the Lord.
He also shared a very sweet story about he and his wife during their college years at BYU.
I don't want to share the story, as you can follow the above link to listen to it yourself (which I highly recommend), but I would like to share my insights. During times of great stress I catch myself wondering the dreaded question: what if? What if... I had finished my degree earlier...Taken a semester off...Chose to go part-time rather than full-time... and the list goes on an on. Most of my questions regard my decisions about schooling, money, and how I have spent my time.
What I derived from Elder Holland's talk was the absolute necessity of not giving up when it seems too hard to continue. Despite my difficulties in allotting enough time for homework, housework, baby, and husband, I cannot alter the chosen path. I have worked far too hard and put in too much money to give up my desires to finish school. Even if all the odds are against me doing even remotely well, with God on my side I tend to defeat all those odds. It helps that I choose to spend a significant portion of my time on homework and attending class.
All the what if questions can be dangerous if I allow them to influence my decisions in the present. What can I do? Ignore them. Look at my entries regarding the comforting answers I have received. Look at my beautiful daughter and remind myself that it is all worth it in the end.
I also felt the importance on not keeping a summer house in Babylon. I need to focus my attention on creating Zion within my home through my personal traditions (regular scripture study and prayer). I also need to incorporate service into my life as this will aide me in thinking outside of my little "box".
I felt both inspired and filled with hope about this semester and those forthcoming. I also realized (again) that when I allow doubt to creep in, faith has stepped out. Thus, I need to be more willing to devote myself to faith than harbor detrimental doubt.
Like the little train I keep repeating to myself that I think I can, I know I can. Of course, with the Lord on my side-nothing is impossible.

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