Over a year ago, Emily potty trained herself. Then un-potty trained herself. She now comfortably pees in the toilet but still refuses to poop in it.
Andrew, on the other hand, will poop in the toilet but refuses to pee in it.
So, I have one child who pees and another who poops in the toilet. Half + half makes a whole, right?
Potty training is difficult. The tips and tricks that various books, websites, and blogs offer aren't suited for individuality. Thus, with the personalities of my kids, I could follow the advice found on Babycenter or in books but I know my kids will stubbornly refuse any rigidity. In fact, with Emily, the more we push her to poop in the toilet, or follow the steps listed in parenting resources, the more she fights back. Andrew is the same way.
This lesson has leaked (excuse the pun) into other areas of parenting. I have learned to let Emily and Andrew lead in developmental milestones. Ultimately, they must decide whether or not to pursue something a "big kid" will do, otherwise tantrums and accidents will ensue. But isn't that what I, as a parent, am really fostering? My kids ability to make their own decisions without pressure from outside sources?
As frustrating as it is to have 2 kids still in diapers half the time, I prefer my happy, worry-free kids to the kids they became when I pressured them to potty train on my schedule and in a specific way. While this approach may not work for everyone, I am glad that neither Ben nor I feel pressured to potty train our kids by a certain age or in a specific manner. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all feel less pressure when it comes to parenting?
I am out of my writing groove. I thought I would have more time when I was placed on modified bed rest. However, like most moms of young children, I have found bed rest to be a hope rather than a reality. In fact, I think I am more busy on "bed rest" as I attempt to keep the kids happy and entertained while I maintain some order in this house.
Luckily, tapping into Messy Parenting again has helped me post at least once a week. Care to join me? Share a parenting experience you are proud of, either on your own blog or in the comments, and we can all support each other in this messy adventure.
As a reminder, the book club discussion for chapter one of Women Who Run With the Wolves starts on Monday! I am SO excited!