Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Breathless and Content

Medical school comes in three waves of intensity: the first week is chill but the student is tense and can't relax; the second week picks up as lectures increase and class time thickens; and the third week is 24/7 close-to-panic-mode as the students prepare for the block exam (a 3-5 hour period in which they take all the subject exams in one integrated exam).

As you can imagine, for the family this can potentially turn into an emotional roller-coaster.

I will not say it has been super easy.  Right now, I am working full-time as well as taking care of the household duties while Ben studies all day and--sometimes--all night.

Yet, unlike before, I don't feel like I'm on the edge of sanity.  I don't find myself freaking out on a regular basis.  I mean there are moments when I feel weighed down by responsibility but, for the most part, I am happy with how things are running in our family.

As I am transitioning from a stay-at-home mom into a working mom, I find certain things sliding.  Combine this with being, for 2-3 weeks a month, a married, single, working parent and I find myself almost failing in certain areas: cleaning, grocery shopping, and writing.  However, my parenting is at an all-time high.  My kids love spending time with me and I love spending time with them.  So when I am home with them, I refuse to get distracted by outside sources and find myself re-inventing my relationship with them.  It is a metaphysical experience that is leaving me breathless and content.

Until I figure out how to arrange my schedule to include writing--as writing is a must when it comes to my sanity--I will be sparse around these internet parts.  Please excuse my absence from your blogs, I will catch up as soon as I can.

P.S. Right now we are in the third week mode.  Things are a bit rough in our home.  I am excited to party with my absent husband as soon as his tests are over.  And once I get home from work.

11 comments:

  1. So glad to hear things are going well for you! I totally understand the juggling act. Enjoy your time doing the things you need to do most!

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  2. Life comes first. Dont worry too much about the house. The kids matter more. And you sound so good.

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  3. Good for you, Amber! I'm so glad that you're handling things with such grace.

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  4. I can not say enough, learning to let go of the messes around the house are the first key to sanity.
    The only thing I truly need clean all the time is the kitchen.
    Everything else? meh.

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  5. I'm glad to find you in this place, where things are shifting and new, but you're riding on top of the waves even while some of them crash over you. I wish you and your family love and peace while you continue to adjust to this new moment in your lives. xo

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  6. Oh, how I know the grueling schedule of medical school and residency. Take your time Amber. We will be here.

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  7. Good for you! So glad it's working out OK.

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  8. I'm so glad you are happy.

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  9. Don't worry about being sparse! Just settle into your new routine - and enjoy. (We'll be here when you are.)

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  10. What a great post, Amber. What I love about what you say here is that you're comfortable with not having everything in perfect order, and not knowing what the following week will be like. So much happens in the day of a working mom that often, your solid ground will have to be the love you have for your family, even when the daily ground shifts.

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  11. I've been both a working mom and a stay at home mom (though I somehow became one after both my kids were in full-time school!) and I remember how much sanity my job brought to my life. I also remember what a wonderful time my kids had with their friends at preschool and learning. They flew out of the car each day at drop off. I'm happy for you!

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