Friday, October 22, 2010

Things I Would Like to Do

Properly Subtitled: When the Pain Disappears

1.  Write.  I have no trouble coming up with subjects to write about,  I only have trouble sitting down and writing them.  Sitting up for longer than 5 minutes usually has me bent over in pain and stuck on the couch for as long as the kids will leave me alone (read: 2 seconds).

2. Read blogs.  Once my laptop is fixed, again, I will have the option of reclining while on the computer.  Until then, the desktop is my only option.  Which requires sitting up.  (See # 1.)

3. Exercise.  I realize this is a crazy thing to admit, but I really love exercising.  Running, aerobics, dancing, you name it.  (Except for yoga.  I prefer Yoga after a good cardio workout.)  In a regular week, I will use my car maybe once or twice because I enjoy walking to my destinations with the kids--be it the library, the grocery store, or a friend's house.  Heck, I've found it to be a lesser hassle to load the kids into the stroller than into their car seats.  Unfortunately, I have had to limit my time exercising and even being outside with the kids.  Frustrating.

4. Clean.  I was able to keep the apartment in tip top shape, until I had the miscarriage.  After that, I am lucky if I can wash the dishes.  This is one of those times when I really want a dish washer other than myself.  (Ben is a huge help in many areas.  He lets me lie down for most of the day and does not expect me to do housework.)

5. Hold and play with the kids.  At this point, playing with the kids can only be done in short intervals.  (I'm talking the rowdy kind of play.  Reading books is still an option. )  Also, with Andrew needing me more than ever, I can only hold him while sitting or lying down.  Not so easy when it comes to taking care of other responsibilities.

As frustrating as the pain can be,  I am grateful for what it has taught me, like how to slow down and listen to my body and how to ask for help.  I'm sure the pain will disappear, eventually.


  1. I hope the pain goes away, too, Amber. Soon, soon, soon. SOON. Until then, keep reading books to your little ones, keep resting, keep relying on Ben. Keep healing. Hugs to you.

  2. That would be a hard lesson for me to learn, I think... to have to ask others for help. I am very much a "do it all myself because then I know it will get done the way I like it" type of person... and it's probably not the best way to be.

    I hope doing all those things will come soon for you, too. I can't imagine being in that kind of pain for so long... you are a tough woman, and you can do this!! :)

  3. I hope all these things come in due time!

  4. Oh, I'm sorry you are hurting so much! I know kids need a lot, but they seem to get it when we can't (not won't). Books, coloring, playdough, laying on the grass outside?

    The house will keep.

  5. Life and motherhood in the absence of health is so complicated. I'm hurting that you are still hurting. I hope the pain subsides soon, but in the meantime, I hope you can find strength to keep on keeping on -- whatever that may look like for you -- with a feeling of peace and divine help.

  6. Oh Amber, I didn't realize that you were still in so much physical pain! I hope it lets up soon. How frustrating and difficult it must be for you! Hugs!

  7. Good luck. Sometimes dreaming of what I can do when gives me great peace and other times great frustration. I hope you are feeling more of the peace and less frustration! I've been praying for you.

  8. I am so sorry you are still in so much pain. It really makes you appreciate the small doing dishes! Thinking of you.

  9. Hey lady, sending you positive vibes so that the pain goes away. I get the whole exercising thing - I love to keep my body in momentum. The days I can't exercise, I feel a little crazy in the brain.


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