I do not like being away from Ben. Even though he is gone quite a bit, I prefer his current schedule to one in which he would travel. My preference does not exclude me from feeling overwhelmed. Especially when Ben's schedule becomes so packed that I am left to bear all familial responsibilities. That is how last week was. When I recognized that my sanity was quickly slipping through my cupped hands, I made a difficult decision.
When Ben came home on Saturday night, I explained how I was feeling and offered a solution. A visit to my family's house. Even though he would miss us greatly, he realized it was the best possible answer.
On Sunday, I finished laundry and packed the suitcases. I was nervous. I would be driving for 6 hours alone and with the kids. Two very young kids.
The next morning, Andrew and Emily woke up 15 minutes prior to when my alarm clock was set to ring--at 4 am. I decided it was now or never, so I quickly fed Andrew and loaded the luggage into the car (which included 2 suitcases, 2 Pack n' Plays, 2 booster seats, and 2 grocery bags filled with food). After a long kiss good-bye and a prayer for safety, Ben helped me load the kids into the car and we were on our way.
Because I left so early, the kids slept most of the way. The challenge was when I needed to use the restroom. Thankfully, they are small enough that I could carry them into a bathroom stall with me. Maybe not the most sanitary option, but that's why I am liberal with hand sanitizer.
I still miss Ben, greatly. Yet, it is nice to be somewhere with instant entertainment for Emily, yummy meals each night, and help with my little Andrew.
It kind of makes me hope we can stay out west for medical school.