Thursday, March 18, 2010

Guest Post: Linda

As part of Amy's Neighbor series, I am so grateful to welcome Linda of Barmitzvahzilla.  I am thrilled that I found her blog months ago.  She shares her wit in each post as she describes situations within--and without--her family.  Her posts never fail to elicit a smile.

While I truly enjoy reading her posts, I am also sincerely grateful for the wisdom she sends my way in her comments.  I feel honored to host her words here today.

The Pint-Sized Tyrant

By Linda Pressman

My husband and I knew we were in trouble. We had just changed our hotel reservation for our vacation last August. He was fed up with going to the same California city over and over again. Why couldn’t we just break free? Why did we always have to answer to her?

I was worried though. I said, "Well, we'd better ask her in the morning. We'll see if she'll go for it."

He gave me a look. He said, "She's nine-years-old. She'll just have to get used to it."

And I thought, Oh yeah. She's nine.

How did I end up with a child who appears to be a child in all things except for her indomitable will? A child in size only, she is a fully-formed human being of such concentrated purpose that nothing can ever deter her from goals in any way, and, in this case, from her vacation goals: in December we will go on a vacation to the same tired hotel we always go to in Tucson, and in August we will go on a vacation to Oceanside, California. This year she sat me down at the computer until I found a hotel in Oceanside identical to the one in Tucson, and then kept me on task until I booked it.

No matter how bored we are once we’re there, she is excited and thrilled every second. She unpacks completely. She sets up her toys on the desk in her room of the two-room suite. She arranges all of her stuffed animals on the bed. She’s different than she is at home - she’s neat. If it's the December trip and we've taken Hanukkah on the road, she's ready with everything: the menorah, the candles, the lighter, she's even organized gifts with labels for each day.

Every morning of every trip she is up at the crack of dawn ready to go eat the free breakfast that the hotel provides with her dad and brother. It's only served till 9:30 AM so she really has to crack the whip to get Dad out of bed. Since the rest of us tend towards a type of laziness and lethargy, she follows us around with the laptop or the newspaper until we look up movie times, then she lassos us into the car to drive to see them. She is a whirlwind of activity and sheer will born into a family who would easily sleep away their vacation.

My daughter, the Pint-Sized Tyrant. She’ll make something of us yet.


  1. Dear Heavens, that girl is going to run the world one day! She sounds like a force of nature!

  2. Goodness, I agree with Kitch, she is a FORCE to be reckoned with.

  3. She sounds like me, actually, on vacation! :) She must have a very big personality to command the situation so unapologetically at her age! I kind of like it!

  4. Thank you, Amber, for hosting me and for your lovely introduction. I appreciate it!

    TKW and Sarah - Force of nature is a good way to describe her! I'm thinking "Hurricane" or something along those lines!

    Amy, If we were more organized (and less lethargic) parents, she probably wouldn't be like this! Nice to know someone doesn't sleep her vacation away!

    And Karen, judging by my boy, no, they don't make boys that way!

  5. She sounds like a pistol, as my grandfather would say! Maybe she has a career as a travel agent or tour guide in her future ... or a vacation boot camp instructor?? =>

  6. I have kids like that. They know what they want and it is next to impossible to derail them. If you figure out how to bend their will without breaking it (something I'm not willing to do!), please pass on the secret ASAP.

  7. There's always one tyrant in every family. Sounds like yours has her work cut out for her!

  8. So happy to see Linda over here at Amber's place!

    Linda, your post cracked me up because Husband and I call Big Boy "S.T." short for "Small Tyrant." Your post today gave me a glimpse of the future!

  9. I actually have a son (14 going on 30) who follows me around hounding me for silly things like chips he needs to bring to scouts IN A WEEK but we need to get it right NOW. It drives me crazy and sometimes makes me downright mad! Heaven forbid we are late to something. So evidently they do make boys like this as well as girls.
    My sympathies and good luck on your trip!

  10. Mama Zen, Nice to know I'm not the only one with a pint-sized tyrant!

    Stacia, you're right! It's all vacation related! Now if I can only think of a vacation-oriented career that won't involve her schlepping us along, that'd be great!

    Charlotte, I haven't figured it out yet. So far, she's broken my will and is controlling the household...

  11. Kelly, Really, it's probably the women in our family who are the tyrants and the males who are easy going!

    Kristen, good to know the tyrant comes in a male version too!

    April, Okay, so that's what she's going to be like at 14. I'm torn between wishing my 14 year old son was like that and being very, very frightened!


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