Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Manna from Heaven

I have an evil voice that dwells inside me.  The demon likes to whisper words of discouragement.  This demon has many faces--the mommy demon, the wife demon, the writing demon.  Sometimes I battle more than one face, but usually one is stronger than the others.  Last week it was the writing demon.

Your writing is getting worse.  People will not want to read THAT.  You know that people are tired of reading your stuff, they want something more, something you can't give.  You should just give up.

I ignored the voice for as long as  I could.  Soon, though, my blog stats went down, the comments decreased, and I started listening to the demon.

Your readers are gone and they aren't going to come back. You are alone.

Its taunting whispers had turned into jeering shouts.  They overwhelmed to the point of suffocation, to the point that I couldn't take it anymore.  I just stopped.

I took a day off.

Then I received an e-mail, and a couple comments, each informing me of an award that was waiting for me to claim.  I was elated and became giddy.  My giddiness halted the demon's voice until it was so faint that I couldn't hear it anymore.

And now I get the opportunity to pass on these awards.

First, from Charlotte at Memories for Later, I received the Happy 101 Award.

I am pleased to pass this onto Big Little Wolf over at Big Little Wolf's Daily Plate of Crazy.  This lady makes me smile everyday.  If you haven't met her, click on over and enjoy her delightful and thought provoking posts.

Kelly and Suzicate sent the Sunshine Award my way.

I get to pass this onto 10 other bloggers.  I decided to give this to bloggers I have recently found and extremely enjoy.

1) Kristen at Enjoying Every Moment shares the joy of having 2 kids under two with me.  Her posts are reflections of my life on a daily basis.

2) Eva at Eva Evolving shares daily snippets of things she has learned.  I often walk away with much to ponder after reading her inspiring posts.

3) Wild at Random Musings of the Wild Mind provides (almost) daily doses of questions that have me thinking for hours on end.

4) Jen at Happy Shining People shares her joy of motherhood through pictures.

5) Marvett at Savoring the Simple is a talented photographer that captures her daily life through her lens.  I would love to pay her to photograph my daily life.

6) Serene at Serene is My Name, Not My Life! makes me giggle over her kid's daily antics.

7) Nicki at Nicki's Thoughts, Art, and Friends is writer that gives me something to chew on daily.

8 ) Luisa at Novembrance is a published author who gives me beautiful word gems whenever she writes.

9) Kim at Temporary? Insanity is my alter ego.  Except, she is the better half.  She writes marvelously, produces beautiful girls (I claim them for my boys!), and eloquently catalogues her weight loss journey.

10) The Damsel In Dis Dress at Old School provides timely recipes and cheap and easy how tos for things around the house.

Finally, Wolf presented me with the Sugar Doll Award.  Can I just say I smiled bigger than ever before when I saw this? Because I did.

To accept this award, I must agree to relating 10 things you don't know about me.  I will be doing this over the next 10 days.  Aren't you excited?

I am passing this off to Melanie J over at Write Stuff for her often amusing ramblings and Kelly at The Miller Mix because, well, she is amazing.

So, ladies, I can't wait to read your list of 10 things!


  1. She likes me, she really likes me! :) I am honored, and I'm so happy that you received notification of your awards when you needed them most.

    Tell that voice to bugger off and then trust that we're here, reading and laughing and crying right along with you.

  2. Amber, you just made my day! (Well, okay. You and the Girl Scout cookies that finally arrived.)

    Truly, this means a great deal to me. At times, I hear the same insecure voice you talk about. And I'm an infant in the blogging world, so I have much to learn. But I just keep writing, day after day.

    I'm excited to visit some of the other blogs I don't know yet too - thanks for the recommendations.

    Love, Eva grinning ear-to-ear

  3. Ugh, I fight that demon every single day! There are so many mommy bloggers out there, what are the chances anyone would want to read mine?

    But thanks for the award!! I feel so special. *sniff* This calls for a major chocolate celebration!

  4. Goodness! Thank you! What a nice surprise.

  5. Wow! Thank you so much Amber. I have truly enjoyed reading your blog. I think the other ladies are right. We all get that little voice sometimes, but I have learned that the best defense when I hear that little voice is to ask myself if these are the whisperings of a loving Father in Heaven, or from a brother who wants me to fail. When I think about this voice and it's negative presence in this way it flees every time. My other favorite reminder is the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". I think this includes that nasty little voice.
    I also am excited to visit these other blogs and maybe get to know a few more people. Thank you, thank you for your kindness, encouragement and for the award. This is all very new to me, and it really means a lot!

  6. I can't believe you thought about quitting! I would have come knocking on your door if you had! These awards are so well deserved! Congrats and I can't wait to check out the blogs you passed them on to. xx

  7. Congratulations! So well deserved! And such perfect timing. Funny how that works! (And thanks for the new reads - I'm on my way to check them out!)

  8. I love the title of post: Manna from Heaven For me, children are a miracle and are a gift from God. Just having children in our lives provides sustenance for soul as manna provided nourishment during the 40 years in the wilderness. Thanks for the great post.

  9. Wow! An award, for me? I'm really, really touched and honored. And, just recently, I was telling myself, that I'll never get one of these blog award things because a.) I don't write regularly enough and b.) I don't have the kind of time it takes to write regularly enough and also be any good at it. (See, I have that nasty little voice too, in spades, and I relate to so much that you write, because I've been there done that and in some ways am still there doing that. Sigh.) Anyway, I always thought it would be so fun and cool and VERY affirming to receive one, but I had to give it up and think more realistically. Then here you go and give me a Sunshine Award, of all things. I'm really pleased! And, yes, just as I thought, it is very validating. So, I'll plug away. I'm glad my writing gets you thinking. That comment means more to me than the award...and the award means a lot! Thanks!

    Now, what do I do with it? Am I supposed to pass it on to ten other bloggers? :D

  10. There's nothing like a little bloggy love, eh? Glad your spirits were lifted!

    I have those days too. Frequently. I've been blogging for three and a half years now and many of my blogging friends have too. We're not as daily about it as we used to be. Sometimes we go long stretches without commenting much or only sparsely. It's part of the balance of real and virtual lives.

    Sometimes people don't comment because they're busy, sometimes you've said it all and they don't feel the need to add to it with a comment, sometimes they read your post and their husband commandeers the laptop before they comment and shuts all their windows and they forget to come back. Heh. That last one happens OFTEN around here.

    Know that you're loved and appreciated around here, okay?

    And thanks!

  11. Amber, don't think you have to be sad to be read by people! Your everyday exploits, those both uplifting and those that are challenging, are what ties us all together in the blogging world.

    Believe me, you are not alone with the negative voice in your head! I always think that I'm all talked out, that I've run out of blog topics. To avoid that, I use a tool I learned in my writing classes: I keep a blog notebook where I jot down topic ideas and even a paragraph or two when the idea comes to me. Then, when I'm feeling intimidated by a blank screen, I look at my notebook and there it is, a great choice of topics!

    We love you. Don't ever disappear from here.

  12. I live with those same demons all the time. I'm glad you got to tell some of them to knock it off!

  13. Thank you so much for the award, Amber. I love reading you. I may not always comment but I am here reading!!!

  14. Congrats! Looking forward to reading the recipients of your awards!

  15. By the way - thank you for the sweet treat! An official thank you will be forthcoming, but I had to let out my "inner Latvian" this morning. :)

  16. Stats do not a good blogger make. I figure I can only legitimately feel like a loser if NObody drops by.

  17. Hey now, don't knock Nobody, she really is quite lovely:


  18. You're so sweet! This is my first blogging award, and I'm so excited about it! : ) So thanks for making my day. And I love to read your blog, by the way, so don't ever stop writing!!

  19. Congrats on the wonderful, supertastic awards! And, seriously, don't listen to those demons. They suck.

  20. "Stats do not a good blogger make."
    Steph, I love you! I don't even know you, but I love you! :D

  21. It is hard to tell the demons to buzz off. Once I did, I felt much better.

  22. One day I would love to meet you. I have a feeling we would get along very well. : )

  23. Was I clear a mud on what you do with your award? : )

    You can pass it off to as many people as you want. Or you can just keep it without passing it off. It is your reward now. Isn't that control nice? : )

    I was hoping that I could make someone's day. I am so glad to know I did just that.

  24. What you described is my life. Constantly. Opening tabs, having them closed on me, sickness, kids, and everything. I know that in my heart of hearts. I know my insecurities are silly and mostly in my head. In fact, the stats and the comments did NOT go down, that was in my head too! But that demon was whispering poison laced words. Convincing me I was useless. Silly that I let her get to me! (I wonder if it might also be a hormonal thing.)

    Thank you, Kim. I am so grateful that you welcomed me so graciously into this little world. (I know that award has probably been given to you a million times over, but I couldn't help myself! I think you rock!)

  25. I have heard of this Nobody. I shall go check her out.

  26. Of course you are right. Silly to dwell on the little snags, huh?

    Back before Manly was born, I made a goal to blog for myself and not for comments or stats. Funny that I let myself drift from that. Ah, but I can repent. And I will. Stats and comments are not needed to fuel my ramblings. : )

  27. Thanks for passing one my way!

  28. Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your comment!

  29. You are very welcome!

    Don't worry, I won't stop writing. I will have my insecurities flood my mind every now and then, but I now have the tools to fight them. I think. : )

  30. The demon has been sent packing. I know she will return, with a vengeance, but I have been given new fighting tools--all of you. : )

    I think the demon works with my hormones. I find that when I hear her speaking the loudest is when I am going through PMS. Now, if I will only remember that the next time around.

    You deserved the award. I am so happy to have found your blog!

  31. Thank you Linda! I hope that your kids know what a great mom they have because you can offer the perfect words of encouragement.

    I have a little notebook where I store my ideas. It is quite full. It is also quite lost. I think I should probably change my hiding place to one that I will remember. : )

  32. Well, well, many thanks!

    And I sure hope your little one feels better soon. That's tough.

  33. I popped by here for a visit from Serene's blog and had a fun visit. Plus I get to check out all these great links on this post.

  34. [...] started feeling guilty.  So guilty, in fact, that I would lie in bed at night, paralyzed by that inner demon’s [...]

  35. [...] blew me away with this!  She awarded me with The Sunshine Award.  She mentions in her post that I pose questions that make her [...]

  36. [...] incredibly delighted to receive the Sunshine Award from Amber, my dear friend at Making the Moments Count. My first blog award! This will hold a special place in [...]


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