Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Musings from the Heart

I am weary.

The undulations of his cries pierce my heart, my spirit, and my resolve. 

Minute after minute, hour after hour, the cries continue.

I walk in circles, bounce him on my knee, and rock him in the rocking chair. 

I feed him, I change him, and I burp him.

I give him tummy drops and Tylenol.

Nothing seems to work.

He is sick. He only knows how to cry.

And me? I am his mother. I should know.

The Queen runs around, screaming for my attention.

I bring her up into my arms.

I sit in the rocking chair.

Slowly, I rock them both.

I sing. I bounce.

We all cry.

He begins to calm down.

The Queen calms down.

And, we are in the rocking chair.

I rock and rock.

Fresh tears pour down my face.

I am keenly aware of the harmonious tone of our hearts.

Bump bump. Bump bump.

With startling acumen, the Queen raises her eyes to mine.

She kisses my cheek.

She snuggles closer.

She leans her head against her brother.

I hold them closer.

My two babies.

My greatest treasures.

A moment of undefiled joy.

This is what it's all about.


  1. I am so sorry Manly is sick. I hope he feels himself soon. Your words today have brought me to tears.

  2. It's so exhausting when our kids are sick. Hang in there.

  3. Beautiful.

    What amazes me is not so much the disparity between the joyful times and the sorrowful times, but how very very quickly the time between them can pass.

  4. I'm sorry your little guy is sick. Hang in there.

    You have such a wonderful perspective.

  5. Beautiful. And painfully honest (painful because I know those moments well). Thank you for writing it!

  6. Beautiful. Poignant. Beautiful.
    Yvonne is right, you have wonderful perspective. And might I add strength and stamina and heart. Keep writing, Amber. Keep rocking. You are a wonderful mama.

  7. You're right - this *is* what it's all about. I just hope that you get some more of the easier stuff that it's all about too - and soon.

  8. There is nothing worse than feeling your child's pain and feeling helpless. You just want to suck the pain out of them and put it into yourself. I hope he feels better soon. xo

  9. I remember sitting in the rocking chair so many times rocking a baby or two or three at a time and singing and crying.It's hard to believe those three are all grown up and two are now doing the same thing.I still occasionally have to rock the 5,6 and 9 and even 11 year old, and my 17 year old would love for me to rock him too.He will be so mad at me for writing that.Thats the fun about teenagers.

  10. Gosh, I remember that helpless feeling so well. I would always cry, too, because it hurt me not to be able to help them or know what they needed.

    On the bright side, I smiled because you all can fit into a rocking chair. That is something that I can no longer do. Bittersweet.

  11. I hate when little ones are sick. They are too young to understand why you won't make things better and can't even tell you what is wrong. I used to just cry, too.

    Cuddling two precious ones, though, that is a treasure.


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